


TonIru-ness

by drelfina



Series: Intel Chuunin [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Other, intel chuunin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 17:52:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: Iruka kicked at the rock, staring at its trajectory all the way across the field."I'm CHUUNIN," he said to the field at large. He was CHUUNIN and he KNEW how to fight and he'd gotten through the damn chuunin exams only after his second try. He was NOT a... a... green Genin or something! He knew perfectly well how to do chakra control and all that.





	

Iruka kicked at the rock, staring at its trajectory all the way across the field.

"I'm CHUUNIN," he said to the field at large. He was CHUUNIN and he KNEW how to fight and he'd gotten through the damn chuunin exams only after his second try. He was NOT a... a... green Genin or something! He knew perfectly well how to do chakra control and all that.

it wasn't as if he wanted to BE a medic nin, or something. He was GOOD enough to be a chuunin, and he'd train harder if he wanted to be a JOUNIN but he didn't need to be a jounin right now. He wanted to be a teacher and that was...

Why the hell was he getting a TUTOR on CHAKRA control?!

 

Tonbo sat back against the wide trunk of a tree above the kid, observing him. It was hard not to laugh; the brat was RADIATING anger and annoyance in great, billowing waves. It was turning his chakra almost yellow-green instead of the blue-green it had been when he'd first arrived.

After another minute or so, when the kid was starting to grumble about his stupid late tutor and how he was just going to LEAVE, Tonbo dropped gracefully out of the tree. "You really do need lessons," he observed, "if you didn't even know I was there."

Iruka wheeled around, glaring. "YOU were late!" The fucker was late. He KNEW because he'd checked out the area and...

... and the fucker was... "You're BLIND!"

Why were they sending him a BLIND tutor? They though he was so USELESS? His temper boiled.  
Tonbo leaned back against the tree, pulling a half-smoked blunt out of his shirt pocket and lighting up. He inhaled deeply, paused for a beat, savoring the sting, and then blew the smoke out at the kid.

"On the contrary. I was here before you were. And, mm. I am. For the moment, at least." It wasn't quite a lie. More misdirection, really. He was blind for the moment, and the next moment, and all the moments after that. It'd make the kid angrier to think that the bandages made a difference, though.

Iruka's grabbed hold of his temper. The... the MAN thought ... he was so weak that he'd keep himself blind on PURPOSE or something?

Fuck. That.

"No you weren't. You..." maybe the asshole was jounin. That was slightly better. But the marking on his vest seemed to mean he was chuunin. And Iruka DID know Kotetsu and Izumo's uniforms well enough to know that the the black threading meant Intel.

Fucking Intel.

"No, I definitely was. I was here when you got here. I was waiting for you to notice me." He pointed up at the tree. "I was right up there."

He really did need help controlling that chakra. It was all over the place, bright and strong and angry. Kid was burning like a torch, but he'd just go out if he couldn't keep it under control.

"You weren't. You liar." Iruka stuck his jaw out. Glanced up the tree. Fuck, he hadn't noticed... "Like hell you are. And I don't need a tutor anyway."

"Kid, I could sense you from a mile away right now. You need a tutor." Oh, he was so cute and angry.

"I learnt everything I need to at the academy and when I became chuunin." He set his jaw. "I'm going for teacher's exam, I don't need tight control enough for a MEDIC."

Cute, angry, and STUBBORN. "Some of those kids you're going to be teaching are going to run missions. They'll need to know how to control their chakra, and you clearly can't teach them that. Anyway, those exams aren't easy."

Teachers had to be proficient in all areas to be able to properly teach them. A lot of them probably had better grounding in the basics than some of the higher level ninja did, since they had to use them constantly in their lessons.

"Oh?" Iruka growled slightly. He KNEW they were hard, sometimes even harder than jounin exams, but he didn't want help from a pompous, arrogant what-you-call-it asshole who bandaged his eyes as a patronising hint that he was better than you, damn right, he was better than you.

He LIKED this kid. No one else let him get under their skin nearly as much, and they hadn't even been talking for ten minutes.

"Yeah. You're not going to even get through them with the way you waste chakra now. You wanna burn out halfway through? If so, then, by all means, leave." He gestured back towards the village.

What a FUCKER.

Iruka GLARED at him, and did not hit him.

Instead, he reigned in his chakra. "Why're they having Intel teach me then?"

The kid had recognized he was Intel? He hadn't been expecting that. "Huh. I figured you weren't that observant. I'm teaching you because I'm good at the things you're not."

"... Not observant?"

Iruka bristled harder. "Maybe you're just talking shit out of your ass!"

Tonbo chuckled. "Hey, kid, don't have an aneurysm. Yeah. You're not observant, as demonstrated by your inability to notice a man sitting ten feet above your cute little head."

"And I'm not cute." that was IT. It was more than ENOUGH that the man was patronising him, and now he was calling him a KID? And cute a LITTLE?

He lunged at Tonbo, intent on hitting him.

Tonbo grabbed the kid's arm and stepped the side, twisting it up behind his back and slamming him up against the tree.

"You're very cute." He patted Iruka's head.

Iruka growled, hissing slightly and kicked up, aiming for Tonbo's balls.

Tonbo hooked his foot around Iruka's ankles and pulled, dropping him to his knees. "Please. Be a little more original."

Iruka slammed his head back, trying to hit the man's sternum. "Fuck you," he snarled.

The brat managed to wind him. Tonbo hissed and grabbed his hair, yanking his head back hard.. "You should keep your hair shorter. It's a convenient handhold."

Iruka hissed and twisted, and his free hand got a kunai, and he stabbed BACK. After all, Tonbo had BOTH hands tied up, as it were.

Tonbo certainly hadn't been expecting that. He lifted his foot and pinned the kid's hand to the tree, grinding until he dropped the kunai.

"Try that again and I'll break your nose," he warned.

Actually, the one with the LEAST stability right now was Tonbo. Iruka grinned, just a little, and tightened his control on his chakra, and shoved BACK. Hard and fast, and while he didn't have the space and leverage to smack Tonbo's guts out, he COULD knock the fucker off his foot.

Little brat. Tonbo had to applaud him for actually managing to do something other than get smacked around, but dammit!

He fell back and quickly regained his footing. Still, it gave Iruka an opening. Dammit! He'd underestimated the brat.

Iruka whipped around - the man had had to loosen his hold, and he could wrench himself free. That left him with an aching scalp and an aching shoulder, but he was loose enough to fight. He pulled his chakra IN, tight, until it was vibrating within him, but not loose and angry. Tight and small and couldn't project ANYTHING, and then he aimed a kick to Tonbo's fucking asshole HEAD>

So the kid could control his chakra when he wanted to. It still wasn't enough.

Tonbo grabbed Iruka's foot and spun, giving him a little chakra-strengthened push when he let go.

Iruka's foot landed with a SLAM as the extra chakra nearly shoved him into a tree. It would have hurt if Iruka hadn't channelled chakra there to protect his bones at the last second, but god it was going to bruise. He snarled and used that to push off against the tree, throwing kunai and shuriken at the man while lashing out with another kick.

He was going to take him DOWN. Kid, huh? kid his HEAD.

Tonbo pivoted on his foot, spinning to the side, and slammed the edge of his hand into Iruka's ribs.

It made a sharp creak, slammed air out of Iruka's lungs, made him gasp for breath as he flopped over.

Fuck, he'd forgotten to guard for that and reinforce that chakra point. it wasn't too bad - it'd missed the sternum, but now he was flat on the grass and ground, and he was gasping for breath like a fish.

"F-fucker," Iruka still managed anyway.

Tonbo sat on his back, grabbing his hands and twisting them up behind him. "You know, we should try this whole introduction thing again."

Iruka snarled, bucked, but weakly, still out of breath, and pride severely stung.

"Go to hell," he told him.

Tonbo patted his head. "I'm Tonbo. I'm going to be your tutor. Who're you?"

 

The man was PATTING him. The NERVE of the man! Iruka ground his teeth.

"You're worst nightmare."

 

Tonbo snorted. "Uh-huh. How about answering the question without acting all dramatic?"

 

Iruka glared at the soil. An ant tracked across the sandy grains, left to right for ten whole seconds. Iruka wondered if it was possible that Tonbo could die from sheer hate.

"... Umino Iruka."

 

Tonbo ruffled his hair. "Good boy! Are you prepared to behave and actually let me teach you, or are you going to keep being a brat?"

"I hate you," Iruka said bitingly. "And I don't have a choice, do I?"

 

"Whatever made you think you don't have a choice? If you don't want to learn the skills necessary to pass your exams and teach, go right ahead and leave. It's no skin off my nose."

 

Iruka decided that poison was too much for Tonbo. The fucker.

"whatever. Get OFF."

 

"Not until you answer the question. Are we going to work on your chakra control, or do you want to leave?"

 

He wanted Tonbo to DIE.

"I'll work on my chakra control."

Tonbo patted him one more time and stood up, pulling Iruka to his feet as well. "Alright. Good boy."

"I swear, if you say ONE more time..." Iruka stood up, glared at Tonbo.

Tonbo didn't respond to his glaring. Instead, he took a deep drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke into Iruka's face. His smirk made it clear that it wasn't at all unintentional.

 

Iruka fumed at him, wishing he could... in fact, he picked up a rock and lobbed it at Tonbo's cigarette.

On 14/10/2007, Lazy Genius < meretriviality@gmail.com> wrote:

Tonbo caught the rock and flicked it back at him. "Don't do that."

Iruka batted it aside, and glared mutinously at him. Fucker. He'd learn from the guy, alright, but only because he HAD to.If he didn't... Every wannabe teacher was assigned a teacher, if they'd been judged fit for one, and Iruka had been pissed to be assigned on.

And from Intel too! They weren't all that great for actual jutsu stuff. Intel was for intelligence and intellect, not physical fighting, for gods' sakes. It was OBVIOUS. And Iruka didn't need the Intel....

Oh, right now he wasn't making sense.

"Of course, senpai," Iruka said. "Now what, senpai?"

 

Tonbo examined the clearing, looking for a suitable tree. Nice and tall, with branches that started high off the ground... Aha. There.

He pointed at it. "Go walk up that tree."

Iruka gave him a sharp sniff, and walked up. Easy. It was easy as pie - no one could hope to pass the chuunin exam if he couldn't even MANAGE that!

He paused at the top of the tree, crouched to touch a hand to the slender trunk - up here, on a fir, it was easy to get to the top of a straight trunk like this, and looked down. "So now what? Fall down on you? That's easy."

Tonbo smirked up at him. "I wasn't finished. Come back down here and walk up it again. Backwards."

"Fuck what?"

Iruka stared at him for a moment. Dropped down lightly and STARED at him. "You're kidding me, you bastard."

"Oh, no, I'm serious. You're going to actually have to exert yourself. I'm not just going to put you through exercises you can do standing on your head."

"You fucker," Iruka muttered.

But how hard could it be? he stepped backward, felt his foot fasten to the trunk, and made his way slowly up. It was simple enough, really.

All the tension was on trying to make sure he didn't walk into something.

Which was bad enough already.

Tonbo had him do it several more times, until he could walk backwards up the tree almost as quickly as he could facing forwards.

"Alright. Now do it with your eyes closed."

Iruka stared at him. Looked at the tree, and then stared at Tonbo's bandages some more. Stared at how he was standing casually, smoking casually, exhaling smoke as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"I beg your pardon?"

He was tired. He was starting to feel the strain in his chakra system of using 'stick' and 'upright' and his muscles were quivering at having to remain straight and oh gods he could manage maybe another half an hour run, but not an-damn-other tree climb.

 

He gestured at the tree. "Walk backwards up the tree with your eyes closed."

 

"I don't..." Iruka gritted his teeth. "I will fucking FALL."

 

Tonbo had figured the boy wouldn't admit to being that drained. "Oh, don't worry. I'll catch you."

 

"I won't NEED you to catch me," Iruka snarled, and stomped up to the tree. "Fuck off and DIE."

"Maybe in another ten years."

 

"How about now?" Iruka snarled, and pressed his foot against the trunk. "'s not like you can SEE me not close my eyes anyway."

 

Tonbo shrugged. "You're right. I can't. Thing is, if you cheat, the only one it's hurting is you. I'M not going to fail any exams or get people killed because you didn't want to learn how to control your chakra properly."

 

Fucker!

Iruka gave him a withering glare, and shut his eyes.

... It suddenly became that much harder to control his chakra. And NOT to flail and open his eyes and.

He CAN do it. He gritted his teeth and fumbled backwards, up the tree. Slowly, backbreakingly slowly.

 

Tonbo leaned against the base of the tree, idly smoking and waiting for Iruka to give up or fall off. The kid was drained.

Determined, though. Very stubborn. If he could get Iruka to want to learn, he'd do just fine. It was getting over the initial defiance that would be hard.

Tonbo wondered if he'd be able to convince Iruka into bed. He imagined the boy would be like a wildcat, spitting and scratching and wild.

 

Iruka was about halfway up, and he had to crouch to hold onto the base, feeling his head start to spin. If he opened his eyes now, it'd give him vertigo and he would fall.

But hell if he fell into THAT bastard's arms. He wasn't going to be WEAK in front of.. of.. that patronising bastard.

he tried another couple steps up, and then slipped.

... fuck.

 

Tonbo moved quickly to catch him, grunting slightly as the kid's weight dropped into his arms. "Hey, baby."

 

"Fuck OFF." Iruka snarled at him and tried to punch the bastard in the nose. "I don't need you to catch me!"

 

Tonbo promptly dropped him. "I'm sorry. Would you rather fall and break your bones?"

 

Iruka tried to kick him in the balls for that. Fucking... bastard! He was such an asshole!

"this is YOUR own fault, you... you pervert!"

 

Tonbo neatly sidestepped the kick and nudged the boy's side with his foot. "I'm very sorry for catching you. I'll let you get hurt next time."

 

"Fuck you." Iruka growled sullenly, and flopped onto the leaf litter, getting mushed leaf in his hair. He was so tired, he couldn't even focus on the sky.

Bastard.

 

Tonbo nudged him again. "Come on, let's go back. You can go rest and think of ways to make my life miserable."

"You are SO going to regret this," Iruka said, flopping over and heaving himself up. "You will regret your grandparents even KNOWING of each others' existence."

 

"So very sorry for trying to teach you. If you want, I won't do it anymore. You can leave whenever."

 

Iruka snarled and sat up. "Fucker." He was STUCK with this bastard, and he KNEW it.

Bastard. Bastard. "Cocksucker." Though that wasn't a very good insult. Kotetsu'd just laugh at him. But most guys thought it was.

 

Tonbo chuckled. "Why, yes, I am. Pretty good at it, too. Would you like a demonstration?"

 

Iruka glared at him, feeling his cheeks heat.

Fuck if he ended up with someone who was just like Kotetsu!

"Fuck off."

 

Tonbo stretched, yawning. "Is that a no?"

 

"Hell yes it's a no!" Iruka sat up, glaring holes into his head. "Who wants YOU to give them blow jobs anyway? I'd rather ask Kotetsu to suck me off."

At least Kotetsu wasn't a COMPLETE asshole.

Not that Izumo'd let Kotetsu do anything with other people. Nor would Kotetsu let Izumo off with others either. They were all talk and show but now touch.

 

"Oh, lots of people do. I'm good at them."

 

"Because you're a smirky ugly PERVERT."

 

"Ugly?" He grabbed at his chest dramatically. "Oh, you've wounded me! I may never recover!"

 

Iruka threw a clod of dirt at him. "Fucking bastard pervert," he snarled.  
What an asshole. He hated him so much, he hoped he fell over and died or something, and then he'd get assigned a new tutor. Like Ebisu or something.

 

"And now you're THROWING things at me? I'm going to go home and cry."

 

The man was just ... teasing him. No, mocking him Worse than mocking him. Patronising him, like all the other adults who thought he was just playing it up, not being serious, not good enough, not anything, worse than...

Iruka snarled and used the last of his chakra to lob a kunai and a explosive note at him.

 

Tonbo certainly hadn't been expecting that much viciousness. He just barely managed to dodge.

"Kid, let me give you some helpful advice. Murder attempts piss me off. You really don't want to piss me off, because I can and will make your life a living hell every second you spend with me and most of the ones you DON'T. Alright?"

He smiled pleasantly at Iruka.

 

"if you were any SORT of good ninja," Iruka spat, trying to stand and barely managing NOT to collapse into the grass, "You wouldn't even be PHASED by it."

Since he wasn't even DOING anything, while Iruka had been, doing stupid things like climbing trees blind and backward.

 

"Do forgive me for not expecting you to try to kill me over simple exercises. I shall remember your unreasonable temper in the future."

 

Iruka snarled at him, even as Tonbo walked away. Fucking asshole. Unreasonable? He was VERY reasonable. Unreasonable would be deciding to trap him with lethal traps in his HOME.

... In fact, maybe he'd do just that.

 

Tonbo turned to wave at Iruka, and then teleported back home. He didn't want the little brat following him and trying to kill him in his sleep or anything. It'd piss Shimon off.

~~~

"Ton-kun?" Shimon asked from the couch as Tonbo sauntered in. "You are la... Oh, you smell horrible, have you been smoking your pot to annoy someone again?"

 

"It's great to see you too, Shimon. How was your day?" He flopped down on the couch next to Shimon, leaning against him. "Sort of. It's got pot IN it, anyway."

 

Shimon shifted, allowing him more space and letting him curl to him. He dropped his hand onto Tonbo's right leg, absently massaging his knee. "It was long," Shimon said, turning a page. "We had a new load of forgeries coming in - lots of new categories. Daiki-san is getting more annoyed, he says, but I think he's finding it challenging."

There was always a lot of documents to peruse and analyse, in Forgery. And Shimon himself was tracking down the forger's signature. It was very good, Shimon had to grant that, and they were hiding behind so many styles that a rookie'd think that there were at least 5 different forgers. Shimon, on the other hand, was sure that there was only one. He had merely a hunch, and no proof yet, so he was spending hours trying to piece together a signature forger.

Was it Iwa? Was it Suna? Was it Mist? He wasn't sure, that was the thing. There were so many differences in style and documents, but Shimon was SURE that he was seeing a pattern, an underlying something. He'd know more if he knew more about the political winds blowing then, and so today he'd been spending nearly eight straight hours in Archives, reading till he got a headache. From the way things were going, it SEEMED like Waterfall or Mist were benefiting most from the current wave of forgeries, but that could be a mask. And at least two of those forgeries could be tracked down to Iwa-Tanuki, the name Forgery'd given to the forger they'd identified to Iwa two months ago - they'd always had a little marking somewhere on the documents he worked on - maps, especially - shaped vaguely like a tanuki's paw print.

So that meant either they were a coincidence - which was likely, or someone was imitating Iwa-Tanuki's style, which was more likely. And then the question was why?

Forgery had so many under-running currents at the moment, and Shimon had nearly no clue about how he'd ever thought that Forgery wasn't as useful as Psych, or T&I. Daiki-san was grooming him to be the Head of the Department, he knew, which was why he was actually starting to attend the lesser meetings with Daiki-san, but gods they gave him a headache. Made him struggle to hold so many threads in his mind. Who benefited with this forged document? Who took this mission to set up this lord? WHO had hired them?

The flow of money was always the tip off, and right now the flow pointed to Mist. But there was something not quite right, and it seemed like a multi-forgery team was at work, it'd explain the mixed signatures. But still! Still a multi-forgery team'd have specific signals...

He was missing something.

Shimon sighed and leaned back against the couch, letting his mind relax. "And how was your day, Ton-kun?"

Tonbo loosely wrapped one arm around Shimon's shoulders, playing idly with a few strands of his hair. "I got assigned to train this brat. He's adorably angry."

"That's sweet," Shimon said absently. "You are going to be nice to him, aren't you?"

Tonbo nuzzled his neck, kissing him softly. "I was nice. More or less. Then he started calling em names and attacking me."

"What did you do to him, that made him call you names? You probably did something provocative, didn't you, Ton-kun?" Shimon shifted, tilting his head back, allowing Tonbo to kiss more of his neck. He hummed softly. "Most people start calling you names soon after meeting you. Did you smack him with your cane, perhaps?"

Tonbo nibbled gnelty at the column of his throat. "All I did was tell him he was late."

"And you probably did it in the most obnoxious way possible, didn't you." Shimon hummed, and reached back to tug at Tonbo's bandages. "Go have a shower, Ton-kun. Dinner's in the oven, I can heat it when you're ready."

Tonbo sniffed. "No. I just said he was late. And he started arguing." He leaned up and captured Shimon's mouth in a kiss. It started out gentle, chaste, but soon enough his tongue was pressing wetly to Shimon's lips, demanding entrance.

Shimon moaned a little, opening his mouth to Tonbo's, dropping his head back and sliding to lean more against Tonbo, falling and lolling against his shoulder, letting him have a better angle to kiss him. His fingers pulled his head closer, pressing to him, and his other hand closed his book, letting it fall with a soft-thump to the floor.

Tonbo's fingers traced the curve of Shimon's skull, down the back of his neck, and stroked slowly along his back. His tongue slid into Shimon's mouth, tasting and exploring him.

It was hot, wet and slick, just tasting and moving of tongues, them tasting and enjoying each other. Shimon moved, slid across the couch, and curled into Tonbo's lap, turning so that they were facing each other properly, and he could press close to him. "Mmm..." he said, as he pulled gently away. "You need to shower, Ton-kun."

Tonbo's hands slid down to cup Shimon's backside, stroking through his clothing. "Come with me?"

"I've already had my shower," Shimon whispered against TOnbo's cheek. "If we shower together we'd simply waste water. The water bill's getting high lately. You shower, I'll go heat you your dinner."

Tonbo made a faintly protesting noise. He LIKED kinky showersex. "Maybe next time you should wait for me to get home. Then we could go together and it'd be using LESS water."

"When you come up with the calculations that make that make sense," Shimon tweaked Tonbo's nose and slid off his lap, "you may be able to tempt me in with you. For now, shoo."

"One is less than two, Shi." Tonbo reached out and smacked his thigh in revenge for the nose-tweaking. "How about I tempt you with my raw animal magnetism?"

Shimon side-stepped, so the smack was barely a pat. "When we shower together we always end up spending three times as long in the shower than if we took turns. And I am thoroughly immune to raw animal magnetism. Go on, Ton-kun, I want to go to bed some time today."

Tonbo sighed slightly and stood up. He pulled Shimon into his arms and kissed him one last time, hard and hot and brief, before pulling away to go shower. "I intend to keep you up as late as possible, then."

 

Shimon mewled faintly at the kiss, left to reel against the wall as Tonbo sauntered off to the bathroom. "It's not going to happen," Shimon said, pressing fingers to his lips. THey were starting to bruise faintly. Shaking his head, he went to heat up Tonbo's dinner.

~~~

 

Tonbo had, just as he'd promised, kept Shimon up for a good portion of the night. Of course, that also meant HE hadn't gotten much sleep, and so he'd consumed truly frightening amounts of caffiene before going off to train Iruka.

While this did indeed keep him awake, it also meant he was vibrating faintly as he waited for the kid to get there. Caffiene always made him want to smoke, too, and he'd gone through nearly three cigarettes before Iruka finally arrived.

The air was filled with the horrible smell of burning nicotine; Iruka couldn't help but cough loudly as he approached, wobbly on legs that hated him from yesterday. And now his eyes would be watering, his throat raw, and his hate burning hot.

The hate was probably the only thing that kept him upright as he snarled at the casually smoking asshole in the clearing, "Put the damn things out! You trying to poison the wildlife or what?"

Tonbo sucked the third cigarette down to a long cylinder of ash and flicked the butt at Iruka. "Maybe. Hey, try not to be so pissy today, okay? I've got a headache and I will beat your ass to make you shut up."

If Iruka hadn't stepped aside quickly enough, he'd have gotten burnt. Or his clothes would have. "You..." Iruka slapped at his pants just in case. "I was not pissy. You were a downright bastard."

"Ah, no. No, you were just a pissy brat." Tonbo pulled another cigarette out and lit it so fast it was nearly one motion. His hands weren't quite trembling. "Today, you get to do some more tree-climbing. Isn't that fun?" Except, damn, he'd just have to STAND there. That wasn't any fun. "Unless..."

"Unless I get to kill you?" Oh yes, Iruka was perfectly willing to do that. "Killing you has A LOT of appeal, believe me."

Tonbo chuckled. "No, no killing. Sorry. Unless you'd like to spar, I was going to say. Of course, there will be complications. Otherwise you're not really learning anything."

Sparring was probably going to be MUCH better than tree climbing. Iruka regarded him narrowly. There was probably a catch. "what's the catch?"

Tonbo grinned and fished around in his pocket for a roll of bandages. Not quite as good as a straight blindfold, but it'd do. "You'll have to cover your eyes. Remember, we're working on your chakra control. Being able to use it to sense the things around you takes a lot of that. It may be too hard for you, actually, if you haven't done much of it before." And, oh, the kid would be tired. He remembered how exhausted he'd been just twenty, thirty minutes into his first attempts at chakra-sensing. Of course, Iruka was a good deal healthier, but he was also probably still worn out from yesterday.

"Blind," Iruka said in some disbelief. "I can't..."

But the other man was casually unrolling it and... hey, it wouldn't be SO bad, right? he would be able to hear things and stuff, rather than nearly fall over in exhaustion like yesterday. PLUS he got to hit the bastard with imputiny. THat was always a good thing.

"... fine. Give that here." 

Tonbo tossed it to him. Towards him, anyway. In his general direction. Probably. "I'll know if you're cheating with that." Mostly because he'd be able to feel Iruka reaching out with his chakra. If he wasn't, then he was obviously looking.

Iruka snatched it out of the air; bastard was AIMING for his hEAD. Fucker. "I don't cheat." much. Unless he couldn't be caught cheating. He wound it around his head, feeling vulnerable as his sight got cut off. 

Tonbo waited with little patience for Iruka to toss it back, tapping his foot. "Of course you don't."

Iruka lobbed it at Tonbo's head, or in the general direction of his voice. "Now what?"

Tonbo reached out and caught it, then stuffed it into his pocket. "Well, now we fight. I'm assuming you know how to do that? No weapons, please, because I don't want you slicing a hand off."

"I'd rather slice your dick off," Iruka snapped, and took a step forward. Carefully. Damn. He had to extend his chakra, carefully sharpening it... he couldn't SEE. that sort of sucked.

"I quite like my dick attached." He settled into a defensive position, waiting for Iruka to make the first move. See what the kid could do, first, and try to adjust his own attacks to that. Just beating him down wouldn't teach him anything. He had to make Iruka work.

Iruka listened for him. Bastard wouldn't move, he guessed. So it'd be up to him.

 

So be it.

 

Iruka shifted on his feet, and pulled his chakra to his hands. a little, dimming what he could sense, but he could perform jutus now. And he slammed a fire ball right at Tonbo.

Fire. Well, that was easy. Fireballs were loud and hot and noticeable, and even more so if they were jutsu. After all, then they were basically giant balls of flaming chakra.

He threw himself to the side and sped towards Iruka, coming in low and aiming a hard punch towards his stomach. Maybe a little faster than was entirely fair, but, damn, it felt good to MOVE. It'd been a while since he'd really sparred with anyone. He'd been so busy with Intel work, and then training Iruka... He'd forgotten how fun the rush of adrenaline was.

But Iruka wasn't there. Iruka wasn't as stupid to stay in where he'd been - in fact, he'd ducked and stepped back, sensing faintly - in wobbly chakra-strange-colours - Tonbo's movement towards him. The giant chakra katon meant that Iruka's own chakra was masked, and that meant he could spread out a little more, sharpen his chakra-sense, and weave into Tonbo's guard and kick his leading foot up and away, slamming a fist to Tonbo's jaw.

He just barely managed to pull back, shaky and off-balance, and the blow clipped his jaw. Tonbo laughed and darted away, leaping up into the trees and pulling his chakra in as much as he could while still sensing Iruka. Smart kid. ANd he'd been stupid, forgotten how easy it was to use massive chakra-outpouring as a shield. Stupid, stupid.

This was fun. And it would be fun to sit up there and watch Iruka not be able to find him. He'd gotten good at hiding his chakra, and he doubted Iruka could concentrate enough to really pick it up.

On second thought...He spread his chakra out, over the clearing and a good distance beyond, taking care not to concentrate it too heavily in any one place. Taht would be harder. If he pulled it in, all his chakra would be concentrated in one place, and that was obviously him. But spread out like that, he could be anywhere, and as long as he didn't do anything to change it...

 

Iruka whipped around, his triumphant grin fading as he realised that Tonbo wasn't there anymore. Or rather, he was everywhere. When one relied wholly on chakra to determine an opponent's location, one tried to focus on the concentration to locate them. Only...

Only Tonbo wasn't there. His chakra was, all over, diffuse like a glowing blanket, and everywhere Iruka walked he could feel it, lapping up his skin like a laughing, jeering audience. But he couldn't find the centre. There was... there was a center, right here, but it was't where Tonbo was. He couldn't SEE Tonbo, and he coulnd't FEEL him.

Iruka snarled to himself. Okay, so apparently the bastard had some tricks up his sleeves with chakra manipulation. Fine. He could deal with that too.

He quieted himself, going still, breathing shallowly. It wouldn't be a good thing to do in the middle of a battlefield, but he could do so here. If he was REALLY blinded and wounded, he'd take himself up to the...

The trees. That's where he'd be.  
Iruka focused his attention UP, but instead of using chakra, just enhanced his hearing. The man had to be breathing, somewhere. And maybe an absence of insects, or the strange-off-movements of leaves and fabric on bark...

Hah! There!

And he slammed UP.

Clever kid. Tonbo silently applauded him and dropped down at the same time Iruka sprang up. He used chakra to cushion the landing, then carefully sauntered over to the opposite side of the clearing. He pulled his chakra in, concentrating it just on the clearing, so he could silence the sound of his feet on the ground with chakra cushioning and not give himself away.

He thought for a moment, then pinched the cigarette he'd been smoking out and tossed it to the other side of the clearing. The smell migth distract Iruka. It was almost done, anyway.

Iruka nearly staggered when he just hit a treebranch, fell over, and only managed to cling tight by dint of upper-arm strength. He snarled at the... smoke, over there, only the bastard could have tossed it aside and he HATED Tonbo. With the strength of a thousand fiery suns exploding into supernovas. All at once.

fucker.

 

He dropped back down to the ground, trying not to pant. he wasn't out of breath, dammit.

Tonbo held still for a moment, listening to Iruka's breathing, and then burst into a flurry of motion, darting towards him. He grabbed for one of Iruka's arms, intending to twist it up behind his back and hold him still, while aiming a punch at his ribs.

Iruka made a sharp sound. Fucker, the bastard'd been so close all this time? He couldn't... no, he was fast, but Iruka was faster.

Well, his exhaustion helped, in a way. He dropped like a stone, twisting slightly so he wouldn't fall AND dislocate his arm. Felt the breeze of a fist pass him - he was so tired, he couldn't SEE, he was literally fighting blind and dropped to the ground, kicking - well, flailing - backwards in the blind hope that Tonbo'd get it in the nuts.

Iruka's blind flailing was easy to avoid. Tonbo sidestepped his legs and kicked him in the side. "Oh, come on, now. Get up off the ground. You'll get things in your hair and probably throw them at me."

"I'll throw WORSE at you, you st-," Iruka had to pause for breath. The man's kick was enough to shove air out of his lungs, not to say much about the pain in his ribs. "Stupid. Asshole!"

Tonbo stepped on his stomach. "Not if you don't get up. It can't be that hard. I do this every day."

"You bully other chuunin every day?" Iruka huffed, snarling and breathless. "Fucking pedo! I bet you fuck around with kids all day too!"

"Er, well, I suppose I do bully people all day... But, no, I meant the wandering around blind thing." He pressed his foot down. "And I'm not a pedophile."

"You get kicks out of acting like a blind asshole? You fucking ..." Iruka didn't know what else to call him. but asshole just didn't cut it. Nor did bastard. There were only so many insults he could inflict on Tonbo before he started repeating himself enough to get bored.

"It's a kink, in fact. You wouldn't believe how hot running into walls gets me." Tonbo tapped his foot sharply on Iruka's stomach.

"You," cough, "DEVIANT," Choke, "PAEDOPHILE."

Tonbo began tapping out a song. "I am not a pedophile."

Iruka flailed at him, and tried throwing grit at Tonbo's face. When THAT failed, he pulled at Tonbo's foot and YANKED.

He'd been expecting something like that. He stumbled forwards, standing over Iruka, and steadied himself with a burst of chakra to his feet. "You're not getting up, I notice," he said conversationally as he sat down on Iruka's stomach, knees pressed up against his armpits.

"Because you're being an ASSHOLE and SITTING on me!" Iruka tried to smack his head off.

Tonbo grabbed his wrists, holding his hands together on his chest and smiling at him. "You're very comfortable."

Iruka spat on him. It hit Tonbo squarely on the nose. "You sick fuck!"

Tonbo made a face and reached up to wipe the spittle off, grabbing hold of both of Iruka's wrists with one hand. "That was thoroughly uncalled for."

"You're sitting on ME. You're an ancient, evil disgusting pervert, who probably oogle little kids or something, and probably fuck random rodents in the forest. I SAY it's called for!"

"I am not ancient," he objected. "Nor am I disgusting, and I have never oogled a kid. Or fucked any rodents."

"you ARE." Iruka attempted to wriggle, but had to give up. Bastard was heavier than he expected.

"I'm twenty-one. That is not ancient."

That was WAY ancient, because he should be DEAD by now. Iruka bucked again, and fell still. Bloody asshole. "You ARE ancient. You bastard."

"Oh, I am not. I bet I'm not even six years older than you." He squeezed Iruka's chest with his legs, making his ribs creak.

Iruka gasped, saw multicoloured stars for a moment as his breath waved goodbye to him. "you.. b-bastard..."

Tonbo loosened the vicelike grip after a moment. "I'm almost one hundred percent certain I'm legitimate. You could go ask my mother, if you like."

"I don't give a d-damn..." Iruka breathed in for one glorious moment. "about your mother!"

"That's okay. I doubt she gives a damn about you either."

"Fucker!" Iruka tried to yank his hands free. He was blind, and being sat on. The only way this could get worse is if...

And then it started to rain.

"Why are you yelling at me because my mother doesn't care about you? Oh, damn." It was wet. And while that normally wouldn't be a problem, this was a nice, hard, POURING rain that would soon turn the forest floor to slippery mud. And he was too tired and entirely too wired up on various chemicals to deal with that. Iruka had to be tired too. "Think we should go back home?"

"No shit, fuck-for-brains," Iruka snapped. "Get OFF."

"You are a foul-mouthed little child," Tonbo observed, standing up.

"And you're a paedophile!" Iruka sat up, felt his hair flop over, and he yanked the stupid bandages off, so his hair and water could drip into his eyes. "You suck monkey balls."

Tonbo grabbed Iruka around the waist and pulled him close, grinning lewdly at him. "You seem awfully preoccupied wiht all the things I suck. Are you trying to ask for something?"

Iruka stared at him. And then smack his face. Hard. "You... you PERVERT! You pedophile!" 

Tonbo chuckled and let go. "YOu keep saying that."

"Because you ARE." Iruka tried to smack him again. "You suck worse than a vacuum cleaner!"

"Oh, I suck VERY well."

 

Iruka stared at him. Blushed a BRILLIANT red, and kicked at Tonbo's nuts. "You sick pervert! I hope you choke and die!"

Tonbo sidestepped the kick. "Hey, quit aiming for my junk. I need that."

"For the monkeys? I hope they fuck you instead!" Iruka kicked at his ass instead.

Tonbo stepped forwards, not quite avoiding the kick. "Ow. I need that to get fucked. Geez, you're so inconsiderate. Would you like to fuck me?"

"NO!" Iruka tried to throttle him. "And you've got a mind fouler than a sewage pipe! Fucker!"

Tonbo turned and backed up against him, not quite grinding into his crotch. "Are you sure? You could be rough. I like it rough."

"Argh! No! Stop molesting me with your ass!" Iruka tried to kick him, but the angle was wrong. "You... you perverted paedophile!"

Tonbo sniffed. "Fine. It's your loss." He stepped away from Iruka and gathered up his remaining chakra to teleport himself home.

Iruka cursed at where he had been and trudged home. THought about it, and decided to trudge to Kotetsu's instead. Hopefully he could interrupt some sex and beg for food.


End file.
